


Love & Other Free Wills

by superpotterwhorelock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Ending, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, SPN AU & Trope Bingo, Supernatural - Freeform, Writers of Destiel Discord Weekly Words Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:47:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27547069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superpotterwhorelock/pseuds/superpotterwhorelock
Summary: This is how I would want Supernatural Episode 20 to go after watching Episodes 18 and 19. Everything seems to be tied up nicely. Chuck is no longer God, humans are all back to Earth, and a party is taking place at Eileen's house to celebrate. Only one thing remains unsolved.
Kudos: 16





	Love & Other Free Wills

**Author's Note:**

> I know the Destiel tags have been blowing up recently, so it'll be a miracle if anyone even reads this, but I've thought a lot about how I would want the series to end knowing everything we know now. I know I wanted one more sincere, heart felt moment between the brothers. I also know that 1/2 of Destiel was not enough for me (because let's be honest, I'd rather just have them not address it all, compared to only giving us a taste of what we want and then whisking it away-- I'm going insane) so I wrote this mostly for myself. I'm posting it on here for record keeping sake (just to see in the future how many fics I actually finished) and because I'm finally brave enough to share my words with the world and not fear judgement, regardless if people end up reading those words or not. As always play nice, I hope you enjoy, and good luck next episode!

The road hummed under them as the Impala cruised along, its headlights slicing through a slight fog that had already gathered that evening. Dean glanced sideways at his brother in the passenger seat who was humming some song that he didn’t know the title to. He couldn’t help but smirk. First of all, his brother was giving no regard to the actual rhythm of the song and it was hilarious. Second, it had been a very long time-- perhaps even never-- that he had seen Sammy so unabashedly happy.  
They were on their way to Eileen’s; she was throwing a sort of “reverse end of the world” bash at her house for all their friends. Of course he was excited to see everyone again. It would be the first time since before Chuck vaporized them for a bit, but his heart wasn’t in it.   
“Eileen says she doesn’t even remember being gone, just coming back. Like nothing happened.” Sam was talking to him, but he was only acutely aware.   
“Hm?” Dean responded.   
“Dean.” the younger inquired, seriously. “Are you okay?”  
“Yeah,” he could tell his tone of voice was pretty somber. With forced exuberance he tried again. “Yeah! Just ready to eat me some pie and see everyone again!” He smiled broadly towards Sam and hoped that the latter wouldn’t be able to tell that it didn’t reach his eyes.  
“Not . . . everyone” Sam said quietly, studying Dean’s face. Dean’s smile fell off, but not much else changed in his features.   
“It’s okay to be sad about it, Dean. We kn--”  
“I know it’s okay!” Dean snapped. Sam huffed, and Dean sighed. “Sorry,” then more genuinely “Sorry. It’s just. I miss him, man.” Dean said, shaking his head.   
“I know. Me too.”   
“It’s just . . .” Dean paused. He hadn’t told Sam about the last conversation he’d had with Cas. He wasn’t even sure why really. It’s not that he thought Sam would judge anything that happened. He just wanted this private knowledge to himself. He didn’t want to share Castiel. Or maybe he didn’t want to admit what had happened. Either way, it was eating him up.   
“Just what?” Sam prompted.   
“Sammy, I gotta tell you something.”   
“Okay?”  
“It’s about the last time I saw Castiel.” Dean swallowed.  
“Before the Empty took him?”   
“Yeah. The Empty. . . it took Cas because. I don’t know, I guess he made a deal with the Empty a while ago in order to save Jack’s life. In exchange, the Empty would come back to take him when he finally experienced a moment of complete happiness.”   
“Okay.” Sam inflected the end of the word like a question, knowing that wasn’t all of what Dean wanted to tell him, but also confused on the relevance. “And, so that’s when Cas had his first true moment of happiness?”   
“Yeah.” Dean cleared his throat. He desperately wanted his brother to just pick up on context clues so he didn’t have to say any more.   
“Okay. But wait, what was his happiest moment? Why right then?”   
“Cas. . . he told me he loved me.” There. It was out in the open.   
The silence that ensued wasn’t deafening. It was just inquisitive. Outside the windows, trees flew by in a blur. The fog got heavier.   
“He told you he . . . loved you?” Sam asked.  
“Yepp.” It was the only response he could think to give.   
“Wow. That’s. . . that’s heavy, Dean. Are you--” Dean cut off the sentence with a wave of his hand.   
“Me? Yeah, I’m fine. I just, ehem, I just thought you should know what really went down in those last few minutes.”   
“Right. Well. I’m glad you’re okay.”   
There was more silence. They were only about five minutes out from Eileen’s, and Dean didn’t mind if the silence lasted the whole way, honestly.   
“So . . .” Sam started up again. “Do you, like . . . do you feel tha--”  
“Honestly, Sam. I don’t really want to talk about it anymore than that. I said what I thought you deserved to know, and that’s that. I’m fine, okay? Now let’s just change the mood before Eileen’s before everyone thinks we had a chick flick moment.” He smiled.   
He reached forward and turned on the radio. Clearly liking the music, Dean let out a “woo” and turned it up more before stepping on the accelerator. 

The party was in full swing. Sam finally stopped watching Dean’s every move, and sat across from him at the kitchen table, Eileen sitting on his lap. In the living room, Jodie was there with the girls, Charlie was introducing everyone to her girlfriend, Bobby shot the shit with some older hunters. It felt good.   
Dean cracked open another beer and smiled, going back to the conversation they were having. Something about hunting. Sam excused himself when he thought he heard a knock on the door, leaving Eileen and Dean alone.   
“Are you okay, Dean?” she signed while she said it.   
He took another swig of beer while nodding his head. “Yeah, yeah. I’m doing great. Are you?”  
“You just seem distracted today.”   
“Nah, just tired. Getting the shit beaten out of you by God really knocks you out for a few days.” He raised his beer as if he were giving a toast.   
Eileen smiled at him, “Okay, just checking.”   
“What about you?” Dean changed the subject. “How are things with you and my little brother?”   
Eileen gave a coy, knowing smile, her eyes looking innocently up to the ceiling. This caused the two of them to share a laugh. Both of Dean’s elbows were on the table. His arms were crossed, his right one holding his bottle by the neck as he lazily swirled it and took another sip. He was starting to feel a little buzzed, and god, he was relieved.   
Eileen’s energy shifted a few minutes later as Sam was reentering the room.   
Dean looked over his shoulder at his brother, noticing that he had paused in the doorway.   
“Sam. come on. I was just about to give Eileen the “hurt my brother and I’ll kill you” speech” Dean said laughing.   
Sam didn’t reciprocate the laugh, instead his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he stood there.   
“Sammy?” Dean questioned. “What’s wrong?” He spun around so only one elbow was resting on the table and the other was propped up on the back of the chair. He set down his drink as he looked at Sam. Suddenly, the younger brother stepped away from the door frame. Replacing the spot that his brother had occupied was a familiar figure.   
“Cas?” Dean said incredulously as he quickly stood up.   
“Hello, Dean.” The angel nodded in his direction.   
“Cas, man, what the hell.” he practically bounded forward and wrapped the angel in a bear hug. Tears had sprung to his eyes when he had stood up from the table, but as he hugged his friend they began to fall.   
“I thought you were dead for good this time.” Dean said, pulling apart.   
“I know. Me too.” Castiel said in a gravelly voice. “But once Jack became God he pulled me from the Empty. The Empty, well, she didn’t care because Jack put her back to sleep.”   
“That’s great!” Dean realized how awkward he felt suddenly. He wasn’t sure what else to say.   
“Dean, can we talk?”   
“Yeah, man, what’s up?”   
“I was thinking maybe. . . alone?” he implored, looking at Sam and Eileen who were watching them from the table.   
“Oh, ehem, yeah, sure. Sorry.” Sam said, blinking as if being pulled from a trance. “We’ll just, uh. We’ll be out here then.”   
They exited the room, Sam giving Dean an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder before going to the living room.   
“Is this about?” Dean started right away, attempting to avoid any awkward silence.   
“It’s about what I said before, yes.”   
“Right.” Dean said.   
They both stood, waiting for the other one to say something.   
“Listen, Cas” Dean said at the exact same time Castiel said “Dean.”   
They both paused again, then Cas continued.   
“Dean, what I said. It’s true, but I never wanted to put you in that position. Our friendship means everything to me. I had to say it because it was our only shot at summoning the Empty that quickly, and I’m sorry if I messed things up by doing that. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”   
“You’re not going to. I’m just glad you’re back.”   
“Right. Good. Well then,” Castiel turned to leave, thinking all that needed to be said was said.   
“Wait, Cas.” Dean grabbed his shoulder and turned him back so they were making eye contact. “I . . . I’m really not good at this. Just in general. As a whole.” he knew he was stalling, but he didn’t know what for. Continuing,  
“You didn’t lose me. I couldn’t do that to you. I thought I lost you and,” he swallowed hard, “and it destroyed me, man. I mean, it friggin wrecked me. I couldn’t ever make you feel that way. If I did, it would just hurt me. Because” he hesitated “. . .because I love you. You saved me. Countless times, you saved me. And, I love you.” It got easier the second time he said it. Alligator tears were rolling down his cheeks. Just watching them, Castiel started crying himself. He let out a small relieved laugh and a breathy “wow.”   
“What now?” Cas asked.   
“What now?” responded his counterpart. “Whatever we want.” Dean let out his first honest smile in a long time. He grabbed his beer from the table, and another one from the fridge. He popped the cap off before handing it to Castiel. He lifted his in the air, making his apparent second toast that night and said “To free will.”   
“To free will” Cas mimicked.  
“To love”   
“To love” Castiel’s eyes shone.  
They both grinned at each other.


End file.
